Me time

So its saturday night and i have the evening to myself. Baby snoozing upstairs and bloke out with friends, giving me some much needed me time. So in true girly style Ive cracked open the wine and dug out the chick flicks! I actually forgot how much I love me time. The week goes by and before you know its monday again and you haven't even had time to blink. A quiet night to myself is exactly what was needed. So its just me and the sofa and its bliss. So im sat here thinking about the future and whats instore for me and I realise the next few months are pretty busy! We have weddings,friends who have babies due and lots of DIY plans Im beginning to wander how we are going to fit this all in! I am excited about the changes we are planning to make the house but also very impatient and want it right now so I have to curb my enthusiasm a bit.

I have also had time to think about deep stuff like life death marriage children etc, and im curious to know why some people have a lifetime of happiness and others just never seem to settle. Are we really in control of our destiny or is it something thats already been written,all we have to do is act out the part? I believe in fate and honestly believe that things happen for a reason but can we influence it at all? I mean how comes one person dies in an horrific car accident and someone else passes peacefully in their sleep? At what point in your life is that decided? Then theres marriage. Some people are celebrating their 50th anniversary and others barely make a year. What makes them so different? As an unmarried woman I wander what difference marriage makes to a relationship. Is it just the label husband/wife that makes the whole thing seem attractive or is it the fact that society says we should be married. What difference does it actually make? I love the idea of being committed to the same person for the rest of my life but do I really need a ring and a ridiculously expensive party for that to happen? Can I not just be committed and be done with it. The sex and the city movie is a prime example of why people should marry for love. When carrie gets wrapped up in venues,dresses,table plans the whole thing falls apart and the guy turns round and says "our wedding has become a circus, I would of just gone down to city hall.." it sums the whole thing up. Ive never understood the need for big weddings to me it seems like people feel they have something to prove, like they need the whole world to witness the event because then it must all be real. To me marriage is about 2 people. The man and the woman. No amount of flowers,table plans or bridesmaid dresses can make you love each other more so why waste time and money? I think the modern world has led us down a long path of destruction. People now appear to say their vows with an added line "for better for worse,in sickness and in health, til death do us part, for the forceable future until something better comes along....." no one tries anymore. Its sad. Then there's children. The little ray of hope that our future world can be a better place, but the responsibility lies with the adults to shape and mould them into decent human beings. So if the adult is useless what hope is there?

So I have spent my saturday night questioning my beliefs and thinking about deep stuff. You cant beat a bit of me time. xx